Why am I here?

Here is a question I bet you have wondered about me. Why oh why would you want to join the Peace Corps? Honestly, I don’t really have an answer… I really did not think that I would ever get to the point of being in another country and actually doing this as a job for the next two years. Now I am inching closer and closer to that reality with swear in only 4 weeks away. Today we had a session during training that pushed me to ask that question again. Why am I here?

Honestly, it all started when I went to a job fair a little bit over a year ago at my college. I was a biology major in, specializing in ecology and I was not really expecting to find anything there that was up my ally, but I wanted to try anyways.

As I was walking around one booth caught my eye. It was a booth for the Peace Corps manned by a young and spunky redhead with energy rivaled my own, and I was drawn there. We talked for what seemed like a few minutes about their experiences and the projects they worked on, the people they met, and the world they got to experience outside the US. They talked about this global community and how we all have a responsibility to be informed global citizens, and how they wanted to do their part for this global community and go where they were needed. Then I looked at the clock and almost an hour had gone by so I left the building, but the words that they said swished around in my brain. 

At first I dismissed it. I probably wouldn’t be a good fit, I had friends who didn’t get in that are way more qualified. I couldn’t just pack up and leave my friends… well… I have done a few study abroad programs, and I don’t really know what I want to study so I know I am not going right to grad school, and I don’t know, I am pretty adaptable and resilient… I would love to see more of the world not just by being a tourist, but by being a part of the world…

Next thing I knew I had the application open on my laptop in my living room after having a glass of wine with my roommate. What the hell, it wouldn’t hurt just to fill out the application.

I never even thought that I would get an interview.

I applied for a specific program where I would work in coastal resource management in the Philippines where I would have done community engagement and scientific communication. Two things that I am incredibly passionate about. It was a really competitive program and at first, I wasn’t willing to do anything else. Especially teaching. I would do anything but teaching.

And then came the question. One day in my inbox, two days before I would be accepted or denied, I saw an email from a new Peace Corps officer. My resume had ended up on their desk as a potential candidate for PCTZ. 

“Would you consider transferring your application to this program instead? We are looking for STEM teachers…”

I stopped reading there.

Obviously I wouldn’t consider it. I was not going to be a teacher. I left that track long ago and I did not want to revisit it. But… They want me in some capacity. If I am willing to go to another country, why should I limit myself to one experience? I am going to go where I am wanted, not where I wanted. I am going to learn about the world. I am going to learn a new language and to meet new people. I am going to learn about myself and my place in the global community. I am not going because all I want to do is coastal resource management. While that would be really cool to do, my reasons for going are not necessarily tied to the thing I would be doing there.

So after some thinking and some conversations with friends, I decided what to do. I would change my mind. I would be a teacher. I would move to Tanzania, a beautiful country in Africa filled with new people, new ecosystems, and new experiences and I would make the best of this experience.

The session today that made me question my place here was this session about the “white savior”. This comes from the idea that people come to these poorer countries looking to fix things about their culture and while well meaning, act paternalistic and condescending towards the denizens in these countries. I knew that was not why I was here. I’m here to help, but I am in a place that I know I am wanted at, and that has asked for me to be here. I am here to help, but I am not here to change or influence the culture to be more western. I am here to help, but I am not here to save. Being here for me has not been about making myself feel better, but to help teach and spread awareness of dangers and address problems that the government and individual towns are interested in addressing.

Going through the US government helps me know that I am going somewhere that has requested assistance in some capacity, and know that I will not be heading to a country to push my own agenda that doesn’t match up with the country I am going to. The Peace Corps is not some imperialist, paternalistic organization that goes into places with the intention to do whatever they want without the consent of the people there.

The last several weeks we were trained in how to work and integrate into a community and develop relationships with people to find out what they need and work with the community to help turn those needs into projects that address those needs in productive and sustainable ways that will be there long after the Peace Corps leaves. The goal is to spread understanding of culture, not to spread our culture, and to bring aid and education for people to better their own lives for themselves. Not for us to do it for them.

I am sorry that this has been a bit longer of a post. I am really just trying to see my place in the world right now. I am so lucky and privileged to get to have these opportunities. I think it is important to always be inquisitive about your intentions and question your place in the world. Reflect on your journey and where you are now. Ask yourself questions about your intentions, and if you aren’t satisfied with the answers you find, work to change those answers. Asanteni kwa kusoma. Badaaye!