Dear Host Family

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Dear Host Family,

This has to be one of the strangest experiences of my entire life. I did not really know what to expect, but it is day one with you all, and I already don’t know what to do with myself. You all are already so kind and understanding, and there is so much I want to communicate to you, but I have 12 days of Swahili under my belt, so I really can’t tell you anything yet. And so much I can probably never tell you which stinks.

Mama, thank you for being so understanding. You showed me what you meant when I looked incredibly confused as you were telling me where to take a shower, or when putting up my mosquito net, or for dinner when we all sat in awkward silence and ate. It was incredible to see you carrying my suitcase on your head (really missed out on a good picture). I can thank you for these things, but I don’t think that the gratitude really comes across. Asante, mama, asante sana. Two words that I just keep saying that are truly starting to lose meaning. I don’t know what our relationship will be like. It certainly has started awkwardly, but I have hope that we can turn it around and become close.

To my kaka wawili, my two brothers, I think you both seem wonderful. I don’t really know you yet, but you are helpful and kind. I love to see you helping around the house, and making each other laugh with jokes that I don’t understand. I hope that I can inspire you to be good people and to make good choices. To pursue learning with ambition. Maybe I can teach you about science and language and my culture as well.

To my dada wawilli, my two sisters, I have so much that I want to do for you. I think the world of you both. I hope that I can also instil a sense of independence in you, and show you that you don’t have to get married as soon as you’re done with school as many in your town do. You can choose what to do with your body, and you can be your own person outside of a man. *Future me update about my 16 year old sister, she has a kid and dropped out of school and by law she cannot go back because the president said so. Anyways back to your scheduled programming* I hope that you know your worth outside of your relationship with a man, and that you can give anything to this world if you do your best and fight hard.

Beyond what I hope I can give you all, right now it all feels kind of hopeless. I don’t understand anything that you are saying to me; I don’t understand anything the TV says, but when you laugh or we dance it makes me feel at home and content. It makes me feel like we can find a way to communicate despite the language barrier. Maybe that sounds corny, but it is true. While it is mentally and physically exhausting to be on and translating everything all the time and only understanding every 10th word, I already feel like I am learning more. 

I have never smiled so much in my life just trying to get through the evening, it is no wonder that I am so tired. And so, It is time for me to go to bed. I’ll talk to you in the morning, new family. I hope this is the beginning of a good relationship. I just wanted to take the time to mark the start of that relationship today. Goodnight!

Love,

Your new daughter/sister

Carolina (apparently that is my name now because Carly is hard to say and honestly, I’m not mad about it)